Ways To Promote Your Child’s Mental and Emotional Health Every Day

Ways To Promote Your Child’s Mental and Emotional Health Every Day

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While much of the world has gone back to normal, many of us are still painfully aware of the mental and emotional toll the COVID-19 pandemic had on our children. Hospitals have seen a 24% surge in mental health related emergency room visits for patients ages 5-11 over the last year. One in six US children will have a mental, behavioral, or developmental disorder behavior diagnosed by eight years of age, according to the CDC.

The trends are troubling, but parents hold a lot of power to maintain a healthy, happy household. Beyond providing basic food, clothing, shelter, hygiene, nutrition, a good night’s sleep, and access to education, positive parenting involves routines, quality down-time, and carefully-chosen words.

Enjoy Dinner Together

With busy work, school, and sports schedules, it can be difficult to coordinate a time where everyone is available for dinner. It can be all too easy to switch on the television while eating or rush through the meal to get to another activity. However, the benefits of quality family dinner time are well-researched.

Kids who cook with their parents consume more fruits, vegetables, and healthy foods. Hands-on cooking activities help children develop skills, independence, problem-solving techniques, and self-confidence. You’re promoting fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and creativity, while spending screen-free time together. 

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University compared teens who ate dinner with their parents less than twice a week with those who had family dinner 5-7 days a week. Eating with the family correlated with teens who were 4x less likely to smoke, 2.5x less likely to use drugs, and half as likely to drink alcohol. This group was more likely to achieve better grades and half as likely to require treatment for depression, anxiety, or other emotional problems.

At dinner time, ask your child about friends, social events, school learning, current events, and issues of concern. Play games like “I Spy” or try these fun family dinner conversation starters. After dinner, give your child an important role to play – whether it’s the dish-rinser, counter-wiper, table-cleaner, or floor-sweeper. After all, one 25-year study found that the biggest predictor for the success of young adults in their mid-20s was whether they participated in household chores in early childhood.

Play Games That Teach About Emotions

Children learn so much through play. Emotional regulation, social cues, and body management are all teachable through games. They may seem silly to you, but young children find them memorable and enjoyable.

  • Are you feeling more like a star fish or like a tornado? Managing internal energy stores is a big component of self-regulation. Help your child recognize their own energy levels by periodically asking this question throughout the day. Reinforce that your child can always try to use a calming skill or ask an adult for help when they’re feeling like a tornado. If you’re playing in the morning and your child is feeling peaceful as a starfish, you might say, “It sounds like a great time to snuggle and watch cartoons!” If your child is feeling like a tornado, you might say, “How many times can you run up and down the stairs in one minute?” or “How high can you bounce this ball to release that energy?”
  • What can you spy with your binocular eyes? On a trip to the playground, teach your child to slow down, observe, pick up on social cues, and choose how to behave. Hold your fingers like circles and pretend to peer through binoculars, while sharing details about what you see. “I see a girl who looks worried at the top of the slide,” you might say, or “I see there’s room on the swings.” When your child sees someone hurt or sad, there may be an opportunity for an intervention. If your child sees that the swings are occupied, perhaps the slide is a better alternative.
  • What would you like to do tonight? Start a tradition where, one night a week, your family takes turns planning a fun night. This could include which dinner to have, what movie to watch, what game to play, or what theme to celebrate. Create a score card of social-emotional skills like “Waiting my turn,” “Staying calm when doing something I don’t like,” “Trying something new,” “Sharing attention,” or “Using my words to share how I feel,” or “Making a thoughtful decision.” Have everyone rate themselves and talk about what is working well and what could use improvement.

Put Down Your Phone

According to researchers at Wharton and Drexel universities, it’s not the number of hours you spend with your children each day that predicts your child’s physical and emotional health; it’s how present you are. Your child knows when you’re stressed out, too busy, and mentally preoccupied.

Thirty minutes of focused, undistracted attention is better than 60 minutes of sitting with your child while surfing social media or checking work emails. When you need to respond to an urgent message, explain to your child why you’re on a device. You might say, “I need 15 minutes to send a few emails and then we’ll go outside and play soccer.” 

The question of what to do in this time spent together is subjective, but you might try:

  • Getting down on the floor and playing what your child loves, whether it’s dolls, Legos, or a tea party.
  • Play old-school favorites like Mr. Fox, Hide-and-Seek, Peek-a-Boo, or Red-Light Green-Light.
  • Have a dance party with upbeat music you and your child love. If you’ve got a party light, even better.
  • Go outside with your child. Hike, bike, kick the soccer ball, toss a football or frisbee, draw with chalk.
  • Play classic board games like Trouble, Clue Jr, Connect 4, Candyland, Life, or Guess Who.
  • Rough and tumble play – wrestling, building forts, pillow-fighting, and battling imaginary villains.
  • Start a family hobby like Yoga, Knitting, Scrapbooking, Science, Magic, or a Musical Instrument.
  • Grab a bowl of popcorn, a blanket, and a movie. Here’s a list of 100 movies to see before kids grow up.

Positivity and Praise

Positivity and praise sets a strong foundation for your child to develop self-love. Praise shouldn’t be dealt out lightly and you’ll want to choose your words wisely. Avoid comparing your child to others, praising innate good looks or talent, and praising achievement. Instead, praise the process and the things your child can control – like effort, persistence, patience, focus, listening skills, attention to detail, or attitude. 

Self-esteem begins at home. Build positivity and praise into each day:

  • Hug your child and say “I love you so much” to start the day off right.
  • Catch your child being good at least three times a day.
  • Praise people skills: “You’re such a good helper!” or “You were sharing so nicely.”
  • Praise effort: “Wow, you were so patient!” “You never gave up!” “You really tried your best.”
  • Be specific: “I love how you colored in the lines,” or “What a beautiful combination of colors you chose.”
  • Remark upon kind behaviors and say, “Let’s talk about what kind of person you chose to be right now.”
  • Tell someone else about something positive your child said or did – and let them overhear you.

Life won’t always be full of praiseworthy moments, but you can use words of encouragement to get through the most trying times. For instance, if your child is upset trying to tie shoelaces, you could say, “Ah, laces are so tricky! But I love how you’re sticking with it, even though it’s hard. You’ll get it if you keep practicing. Your fingers will get stronger and you’ll remember it better each time.” 

Check-In Before Bed Each Night

Set aside as much time as possible for evening rejuvenation. When your child resists with, “I have to go to bed now?!” gently remind, “No, I just want to spend some time with you.” Allow your child a little play time in a bubble bath. Prepare a small snack or drink to enjoy with a couple books. When that’s all through, you’re your child a good 10 or 15 minutes of your complete, undivided attention, along with a snuggle.

Try these conversation starters:

“What emotions did you feel today?” or “Is there anything you want to share that’s difficult to say?”

Simply asking “how are you” often fails to elicit the response we’re looking for – instead getting a “fine,” “okay,” or “good.” Similarly, asking “what’s wrong” is likely to get an abject “nothing” or an “I don’t know.” Framing the question to focus on emotions is more likely to conjure up stories from the day where your child felt proud, excited, worried, or frustrated. By asking about feelings, you’re showing your child it’s okay to trust and confide in you. You’re showing empathy. If your child does open up, listen without judgement. Resist the urge to “fix it” or give unsolicited advice. Try saying, “I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I am here for you. I love you.” Ask questions like, “What did you do?” or “Did you know I had a time where I felt like that too?”   

“What happened today that made you smile, laugh, or feel happy?” or “What were you grateful for?”

Avoid asking a “yes” or “no” question. This open-ended inquiry shows your child you care about his or her day. There may not always be an answer, but you’ll be glad you asked on those days where your child is brimming with joyful stories. It’s a great follow-up after talking about the more difficult parts of the day and a reminder that a few bad moments don’t necessarily make for a bad day or life. While half of what makes us happy is rooted in our DNA, another 40% comes from intentional activity – from taking the time to reflect and practice gratitude. If you are religious, you may consider weaving a prayer into your evening routine.    

Plan Something Special.

There’s a lot in this article to consider. We’re not advising that your drop all obligations and let the world revolve around your child. A few key moments over the course of the day can go a long way. Maybe you’ll just have short 10 minutes bursts or 30 minutes of uninterrupted time in a day to really give your all. The fact that you’ve read this far shows that you’re trying your best and you truly care about the wellbeing of your offspring.

Maybe you didn’t have as much time as you would have liked today, but you can always plan ahead. If you’re looking for additional ways to connect with your child and support mental health in the future, consider one of Shine’s fun camps, workshops, classes, virtual craft sessions, field trips, or parties. Our ongoing, year-round programming provides East End families with enriching experiences that build memories for years to come. Contact us for details about current availability.

Experience East End Gardens and Farms

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Shine’s “Pop-up Field Trip Thursdays” invite you and your child to take a trip to the best gardens and farms the East End has to offer to enjoy our local bounty. This has been one of our favorite pastimes for years now, as we cultivate deeper community relationships with the good people who produce our food. We believe gardening and farming experiences enrich the mind, body, and soul of children and adults alike. There are still spaces available if you’d like to join us.   

Gardening and Farming are Ideal Summer Activities for Children

Young children can practice a number of developing skills – from locomotion and muscle management as they ambulate around the dirt rows, to fine motor control as they grasp trowels and pick up seeds.

Research tells us children are more likely to eat healthy when they see how food is grown and prepared. Kids are also less likely to suffer from asthma and more likely to have healthy immune systems when they interact with farm microbiota.

The fresh air, moderate-to-high exercise, and sensory stimulation intrigue both mind and body. Learning the different names of foods and animals on the farm helps develop burgeoning literacy skills. For kids with attention deficits or hyperactivity disorders, regular green time has been shown to reduce adverse symptoms.

Kids love making mud pies, building stick forts, and having outdoor adventures, but all too often they’re glued to a screen. Engaging in nature play improves fitness, learning capacity, and social-emotional development. Free playing at a farm or garden setting promotes imagination, cooperation, and resilience.

New York’s East End is Blessed with Beautiful Gardens and Farms

A few of our favorite Thursday field trips include:

Amber Waves Farm

Kids enjoy participating in farm chores, walking through the chicken barn, taking a foraging hike, picnicking, story time, and puppet theater shows. They learn about composting, seed planting, natural crafting, and cooking. The farm itself grows over 350 vegetables, herbs, cut flowers, and grains.

Bridge Gardens

The Peconic Land Trust runs a great farm-to-table program at Bridge Gardens in the summer that teaches children about the plant life cycle and sustainable gardening through song, story, and fun take-home projects. This five-acre gem offers beautiful landscapes to walk through, complete with community gardens and art sculptures as well.

Madoo Conservancy

Madoo is about discovery and adventure. Children enjoy painting, crafting, storytelling, art exhibitions, music lessons, and picnicking in the gardens. The atmosphere is far from stuffy. Children are encouraged to run around until their hearts’ content. 

Longhouse Reserve

The Longhouse Reserve specializes in art and music programs for children. From the Yoko Ono chess board and the red garden, to dry woodlands and playful second lawn — the whimsical sculptures and well-cultivated spaces spark the imagination.

Ready To Get Out Into Nature?

Gather with like-minded friends for a Shine field trip. We work closely with each venue to create fun, age-appropriate activities that leave a lasting impact. Our enriching combination of art, culture, music, culinary, and fitness activities are beloved by families across the East End. Contact us for details on our next Thursday adventure.

How To Help Your Child Cultivate a Love of the Great Outdoors

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Kids who spend time engaged in solitary activities outdoors have the strongest bonds with nature, according to researchers at North Carolina State University.

Parents are often concerned with signing their kids up for sports like soccer, t-ball, or tennis to get them active and out of the house. While highly structured activities benefit kids in their own way, they don’t necessarily foster a deep love of nature – the sort that builds confidence, responsibility, creativity, contemplation, attention span, energy, relationships with others, and a spirit of conservationism.

For the study, scientists surveyed 1,285 children ages 9-12 to identify what makes kids feel most comfortable outside. They found that kids had a variety of preferences, but what initiated a strong connection with nature or the desire to pursue a career in environmentalism was a more solitary activity in early childhood.

If you’re looking to foster a lover of the environment, consider introducing or encouraging one of the following pursuits identified in the study:

Fishing

Angling can be a great stress reliever. All kids can be taught to fish, but by six they have the skills necessary to be more autonomous. Location is key, as younger kids will want to see the fruits of their labor — the exciting flopping fish on the end of their lines! Consider a fully stocked lake, pond, or river listed on your state’s Department of Environmental Conservation website.

Try starting with an ultralight spinning pole with a four pound line, size 8-12 hook, a sinker, a bobber, and bait worms. This setup will be sufficient enough to reel in trout, bass, sunfish, and catfish. When you bring in a catch, take a moment to show the gills, scales, fins, and fish anatomy.

Look out for crawdads, tadpoles, minnows, turtles, and other creatures, sometimes turning over rocks or looking under logs. Turn your eyes up to scour for ospreys. Talk about how each animal plays an important role in the ecosystem and emphasize the importance of leaving no trace behind, picking up all litter.

A few hours is plenty long enough for kids with short attention spans. When they get tangled, let them use your pole as you fix it for them to minimize idle time. Bring plenty of sunscreen, snacks, drinks, sunglasses, changes of clothes, and patience. Heap on the praise and let kids make choices like which spot to fish, which special bait to use, or when to pause and look for critters.    

Hunting

You’ll know a child is ready to accompany a hunt if he or she is asking a lot of questions. Rather than simply answering questions to satiate the curious mind, take your child along. Kids as young as 10 can take beginner safety courses, while those 16+ will need their own hunting licenses. Rabbit and deer are good first game to hunt, as these animals provide a great meal for the family.

Load up on gear to make the activity more fun. Face paint, camouflage, muck boots, binoculars, hats, and hearing protection are essentials in helping your child have a sense of belonging on the trip. Bring lots of snacks like beef jerky and trail mix, as well as drinks. Consider preparing a tree stand or a ground blind in advance, so you have your own special spot staked out.  

Go early and break up the time with periods of walking around. Let your child pack a bag, use a compass, and blood track – which will all encourage independence, a reward in itself. Look for animals prints, deer rubbings on trees, scat, or other signs of wildlife. Talk about shot placement, aim, range landmarks, and other information to help your young hunter. Also take a moment to remark upon the sights, sounds, smells, and feels of the woods.    

Exploring

Hiking and camping are perfect activities for encouraging exploration of the natural surroundings beyond the backyard. Plan a day trip or holiday weekend to enjoy as a family. Choose a scenic location with ample wildlife, water features, and relatively flat walking paths. If you’re camping, consider venues with family-friendly amenities like ice cream trucks, kayak rentals, pools, and mini-golf.

This kid-friendly book will help your child spot different types of trees, birds, clouds, insects, animals, and flowers along the nature trail. A scavenger hunt game like Go Find It can also be great fun for little ones, encouraging them to find “something bumpy” or “something yellow,” for instance. Consider stepping back and allowing your kids to wander freely, within eye sight, to enjoy the thrill of solo exploration.   

Silent “sit spotting” is a type of meditation that can really help kids connect with their natural surroundings. Have your child find a place on the walk that feels special. Or, if you prefer, you might bring supplies to build a teepee to create a unique sense of place. Practice sitting crisscross-applesauce with eyes closed, asking your child to listen and let you know what sounds are all around. Then open your eyes and discuss what plants, insects, animals, clouds, shapes, textures, or colors you see. Listen to the birds. Touch the moss. Breathe in the dirt. You might consider tracking your observations day after day. Just five minutes daily is all it takes to experience the benefits of mindful meditation – like calmness, self-awareness, and happiness.  

Looking for more ways to get your child out into nature? Try one of Shine’s Hamptons camps or mini-camps geared toward ages 2-12. We’ll be at the LonghouseReserve, Children’s Museum of the East End, and more iconic East End locations this summer.

Benefits of Block Play – and How to Inspire a Lifelong Love of Construction

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From rudimentary wooden squares and rectangles to complex interlocking plastic Lego sets, block play is serious business for growing young minds. One of the great things about blocks is that they are a timeless toy that transcends all ages. In the words of playwright George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” We invite you to consider the many benefits of block play and to get involved with your child.   

A Few Benefits of Block Play

There are countless advantages to block play, but spatial reasoning, math skills, and improved cognitive flexibility are among them.

  • Spatial Reasoning is vital to investigating and solving problems. Spatial intelligence is used heavily in architecture, art, astronomy, construction, engineering, plumbing, technology, science, and surgery. A study of 51 preschoolers found that those most interested in block construction and built more sophisticated structures also performed best on a standardized test of spatial intelligence.
  • Math skills improve when a child plays with blocks of different shapes, sizes, colors, and types. Researchers found that young children who were better at copying block structures performed better in early mathematics all the way through middle and high school. This is great news, whether your child is an aspiring financial analyst, computer programmer, medical scientist, actuary, data scientist, or math teacher.
  • Cognitive flexibility is the ability to switch between two different concepts or to consider multiple concepts at once – in other words, “multi-task.” The chance of being successful in life greatly increase with the amount of cognitive flexibility a person has. One study found that cognitive flexibility greatly improved among preschoolers subjected to structured and unstructured daily block play activities, regardless of socioeconomic status.

Beyond these perks, educators use blocks in the classroom to improve social emotional skills, cooperation, sharing, problem-solving and empathy.  

Ideas for Block Play at Any Age

Babies – Aim for soft blocks at this age, as everything goes into the mouth for exploration! These interactive Baby Einstein blocks feature different textures, a vibration effect, a mirror, and a variety of colorful pictures. Soft stacking blocks can provide endless hours of fun – even if you’re the one stacking and your baby’s the one toppling it down. 

Toddlers – At this age, anything goes! Simply provide a variety of blocks – wood, foam, plastic, or whatever you have. They love shape and color sorting, carrying and dumping the blocks, stacking up towers and knocking them down. By preschool, most kids will start to experiment with building bridges, castles, roadways, and more complicated structures, while developing elaborate storylines involving their toys as characters. Magna-Tiles are an investment that will grow with your child. We’ve also gotten years of use out of Bristle Blocks. Magnetic “Tangram” pattern blocks can be a fun way to explore how different shapes come together to form larger structures.

1st Grade – 2nd Grade – Use food to create edible structures. Marshmallows, apples, cheese, crackers, and gum drops all work great — with toothpicks to hold it all together. The JELL-O “Play and Eat” kits are another fun way to play with your food, while honing those construction skills. For the summer months, take the fun outdoors by collecting loose items in a tote and setting up a building zone; use mirrors, crates, tree stumps, boulders, knitting spools, pom poms, pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, felt pieces, kitchen utensils, pots, recycled containers, plastic pipes, and more. Use PVC pipes to construct a simple playhouse for dolls, a pulley system for action figures, or a more elaborate structure the kids can actually play inside themselves.

3rd Grade – 4th Grade – At this time, kids are able to put together more elaborate LEGO sets matched to their interests, though some kids just prefer creating their own structures using open-ended Classic bricks. More time is spent in planning, arranging for symmetry, and adding detail work. Dramatic play involving an assortment of toys is still prevalent. Video games like Minecraft allow children the opportunity to explore block-like figures in a virtual environment they can control. Marble runs and erector sets can take block building to the next level. Circuit Cubes appeals to older kids, inviting them to build tanks, mechs, robots, and other vehicles using more sophisticated materials.

Block Play for NYC Kids

Shine invites you to join Block Party, a constructive arts class geared to ages 4-10. Over multiple sessions, little architects will expand on traditional designs using a variety of materials, including sugar cubes, marshmallows, toothpicks, tree blocks, and more. Sculptural art projects translate block play into creative applications of all we’ve learned. Contact us for details.

Additional Resources:

https://www.parentingscience.com/toy-blocks.html

https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/mar2015/ten-things-children-learn-block-play

https://babyyumyum.co.za/7-benefits-of-block-play/

https://blog.schoolspecialty.com/steam-challenges-for-block-play-in-early-childhood/

https://docs.msl.mt.gov/librariesweb/documents/Ready2Read/PlaySpace/pg_rrps_stagesinblockplay.pdf

https://www.theempowerededucatoronline.com/2017/08/block-play-ideas.html/

https://littlebinsforlittlehands.com/best-structure-building-activities-kids/

 

Virtual Exhibits for Black History Month

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Black History Month encourages us to consider the many achievements of African-Americans throughout history. The commemoration dates back to a week-long event pioneered by scholar Carter G. Woodson, which transformed into a month-long celebration in 1970. If you feel comfortable wearing a mask, we encourage you to check out the Brooklyn Children Museum’s Black Future Festival this weekend. Otherwise, there are plenty of convenient and unique ways to dive into cultural history online, without leaving your home.  

Black History Month at the New York Public Library (NYPL)

NYPL offers a treasure trove of Black History Month activities for families, including:

  • Picture Books Reading List – Request a physical copy or e-book, or access online instantly, using Digital Books or Bookshare accounts. Featured books cover famous personalities like Martin Luther King Jr and Duke Ellington, but also everyday experiences like running a bookstore, coping with the grief of loss, and working cotton fields as a young child in California.
  • Be sure to check out the Schomberg Center’s curated list of “Black Liberation List for Young Readers,”accommodating physical copy requests and free checkout of e-books on Overdrive.
  • Watch NYPL Story Time – Librarians read their favorite books featuring black characters or written by African-American authors about the black experience. Stories include “Sulwe,” “Black Girl Magic,” and “My Rainy Day Rocket Ship.”
  • Black History Month Kids Events – Every day features different virtual events, from a chat and draw for ages 8-12 with black cartoonists and Black History Month Jeopardy, to read-aloud craft-alongs and book discussions.

Poe Park Visitor Center’s Black History Month Exposition

Poe Park Visitor Center is a community hub of art, literature, fitness, and community events in the Bronx. All exhibits have been moved online this year due to the ongoing pandemic:

  • Documentary photography: Michael Young; Trevon Blondet.
  • Mixed-media: Terrenceo Hammonds; Betty J. Murray; Gloria Zapata; Gregorio Velez.
  • Paintings: James Deliard; Josipa Kecman.
  • Wood prints: Joan Barnes.
  • Digital collage: Patrice J. Payne.

The New Museum’s Jordan Casteel Exhibit, “Within Reach”

Painter Jordan Casteel seeks to tell the stories of the overlooked people of color who bring the city to life, from Harlem street musicians and a little boy on a lap, to art students at Rutgers University and merch sellers. The virtual tour features 40 colorful, oversized portraits.

New York Botanical Garden’s Black History Month at Home

You’ll be missing the sweet smells of the blooms this year, but you can expect the same high-quality, family-friendly programming, such as:

  • A welcome message from NY State Senator Jamaal T. Bailey.
  • A performance, “Let Us Pull Together,” by the Harambee Dance Company.
  • A “Tree Time” read-aloud, education segment, and activity for children ages 4-8.

National Portrait Gallery’s Portraits of African-Americans

This comprehensive collection of famous faces is a national treasure, featuring brief bios and photographs, sketches, and paintings of everyone from Frederick Douglas and Jackie Robinson, to Shirley Chisholm and former President Barack Obama.

National Museum of African-American History & Culture’s Joyful Fridays

Though the NMAAHC is closed during the pandemic, they’re offering webinar-style Zoom classes featuring literature, discussion, and art, geared toward kids ages 4-8, taking inspiration from the Joyful ABC Activity Book series. On the 26th, they’ll be creating protest word paintings. Past activities include hat-making, portrait art, and sculpting from recycled materials.

We celebrate Black History Month as part of embracing a multicultural world and an important step in raising children who are wiser and kinder. If you liked this list, be sure to check out Shine’s “How To Raise a Culturally Sensitive Kid.” You will find a diverse and inclusive atmosphere at any of our upcoming classes, camps, parties, and workshops. We are open and operating under all the CDC and local COVID-19 protocols.

The Importance of Working with Natural Art Materials

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The sight of auburn leaves against a crisp blue sky and smells of autumn are enough to make any New Yorker want to craft with nature’s finest art materials. Inside your home, you may be stocked up on glitter, pipe cleaners, and pompoms – only to find your children enjoy building rock piles, picking flowers, and collecting acorns just as well. At Shine, nature-inspired, naturally-sourced art materials are among our favorite camp projects. Continue reading to learn how to invite more natural beauty into your lives and get inspired by fall art ideas.

Why We Love Crafting with Nature

  • Materials are readily available. You don’t have to drive to the store to start an art project. You need only go into the backyard or to a local forage-friendly park to find nearly everything you need. Kids often become inspired on a whim, so the availability of natural art materials is an obvious bonus.
  • Art materials are free of charge. Mother Nature gives to us freely. It’s all too easy to spend more than $100 in a craft store. The materials you use may not last forever, but snapping a photo for posterity is all it takes to have those memories last a lifetime.
  • Natural art materials are ecofriendly. Glue and paint contain a lot of nasty chemicals. Most glitter and tape are nonbiodegradable. The production of art materials leads to greater CO2 emissions, global warming, and transportation-related pollution. All of this can be avoided with the use of nature’s art materials. By having your kids create using nature’s finest offerings, you are raising a next-generation conservationist.
  • The supplies are versatile. While it can be nice to experiment with an all-in-one craft kit, there are limitations to the projects you can ultimately make. On the other hand, there is an endless range of crafts that can be made using items like acorns, feathers, flowers, leaves, mud, nuts, pinecones, rocks, sand, shells, sticks, and twigs.
  • Nature evokes creativity. Henry David Thoreau once said, “It is the marriage of the soul with nature that makes the intellect fruitful, and gives birth to imagination.” The mind blossoms when it has to seek out something round for eyes, rather than relying on a generic set of store-bought Googly-eyes. It takes creative problem-solving to get the leaf to stick onto a rock without glue.
  • It’s a healthier way to create. Sourcing from nature forces us outdoors. We could all use a bit of sunlight and fresh air this time of year. Grab a sweater and your favorite basket to start collecting a bin of materials you can use today or during the winter.

Natural Alternatives To Common Craft Materials

Consider replacing some of your most commonly-used craft supplies with natural ingredients:

  • Paper – Leaves, bark, rocks, sidewalk
  • Popsicle Sticks – Sticks from trees
  • Pipe Cleaners – Flexible plant stems
  • Beads – Shells or acorns
  • Paint – Clay, berries, vegetable dye, or crushed flowers mixed with water
  • Ribbons – Long grass or plant leaves
  • Googly Eyes – Spotty leaves and a hole puncher
  • Buttons – Branch slices with two holes drilled
  • Glitter – Red bottlebrush flower, Lilly Pilly flowers, mica

Easy, Nature-Inspired Fall Crafts To Try Today

Fall is the perfect time to enjoy these leaf-based arts and crafts:

  • Leaf Butterflies: Use a stick as the body and leaves as the wings, with marker detailing.
  • Leaf Stained Glass: Draw on contact paper, stick leaves overtop, and press to window.
  • Leaf Zoo: Different shape leaves can be made into a whimsical elephant, fox, or parrot.
  • Leaf Fox Faces: Leaves lend themselves to make the perfect fox ornament or magnet.
  • Leaf Prints: Use nature’s stamper; dip leaves into paint and press onto a surface.
  • Leaf People: Rocks, twigs, flowers, leaves, acorns, and whatever you find come to life.
  • Leaf Garland: Dip leaves in wax and string across a doorway for festive décor.
  • Mason Jar Leaf Lanterns: A flameless tea candle and leaf jar is the perfect nightlight.
  • Leaf Crown: Fasten leaves into crowns with staples, floral wire and tape, or string/hole.
  • Pinecone Leaf Turkey: Gear up for Thanksgiving with this great place-setting craft.

If necessary, you can preserve leaves using glycerin or wax paper for better longevity.

Check out our Pinterest board for more fall craft ideas, from Bark Owls to Pumpkin Seed Trees. If you live in the NYC/East End, you can also contact Shine to enroll in one of our classes, workshops, or parties, where you’ll find all the materials and instructions needed to make beautiful natural crafts.

How To Raise A Culturally Sensitive Child

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It’s never too early to begin the conversation about race with our children. Yet, research published last year reveals most people are avoiding the topic. Only 10 percent of parents discuss race “often” with their children. Black parents (22%) are more likely than whites (6%) to talk about race with their children. Fifty-seven percent of parents “rarely” or “never” talk about gender with their kids and nearly 35 percent of parents “never” talk to their kids about social class. Less than a third of parents of 3-5 year-olds discuss race and ethnicity “sometimes” or “often.”

Parents may shy away from directly addressing skin color and other physical traits in hopes of raising a “colorblind” child, but researchers and educators have found that, in the absence of strong leadership, children fill in the gaps with their own rudimentary prejudices. Children are not inherently “racist,” but they do notice differences, form natural biases, and even judge people based on perceived differences.

The year 2020 will not only go down in history for its pandemic, but for the awakening of society to the Black Lives Matter movement and the cries for equality and justice. Parents can do their part in creating a more culturally sensitive society by teaching young babies and children how to be kind, compassionate, and fair to peers from all races, cultures, and religions. Here we share a few startling facts about racial identity observed in young children and offer suggestions for tackling the issue with the under-six crowd.

It’s Never Too Early To Start The Conversation About Race

School-age may seem like a natural time to talk about diversity, but studies show Kindergarten is much too late to start the conversation. Babies are already watching and forming their own preferences:

  • “At birth, babies look equally at faces of all races. By three months, babies look more at faces that match the race of their caregivers” (Kelly et al, 2005).
  • “Children as young as two use race to reason about people’s behaviors” (Hirschfeld, 2008).
  • “By 2.5 years, most children use race to choose playmates” (Katz & Kofkin, 1997).
  • “Expressions of racial prejudice often peak at ages 4 and 5” (Aboud, 2008).
  • “At five years, Black and Latinx children show no preference toward their own groups, as compared to White children at this age who are more likely to be strongly biased in favor of whiteness” (Dunham et al, 2008).
  • “By Kindergarten, children show many of the same racial attitudes held by adults in our culture. They have already learned to associate some groups with higher status than others” (Kinzler, 2016).
  • “Explicit conversations with 5-7 year-olds about interracial friendship can dramatically improve their racial attitudes in as little as a single week” (Bronson & Merryman, 2009).

Bright little minds are always trying to assign rules for what they see around them. They’re looking for patterns – who lives in the homes they see, who is the hero of the movie, what clothes and cars do people have, how are parents and children interacting at the playground, and who seems to have particular jobs or roles at the supermarkets, grocery stores, banks, schools, and other locations they visit frequently. Children often infer that the differences they see are natural, justified, and based on meaningful inherent differences between the groups they see operating in society. The silence of adult bystanders inadvertently allows myths and biases to persist, therefore reinforcing patterns of systemic racism.

What You Can Do To Raise A Culturally Sensitive Child

Make space for your child’s respectful curiosity. 

Parents can encourage a child’s natural curiosity and questioning, but reframe the narrative in a direct-but-compassionate manner. For instance, if a child asks about skin color, explain that skin comes in many different colors, but it still works the same way to protect our bodies. By the same token, though we may look different on the outside, we have many of the same hopes, dreams, and feelings on the inside. “The Skin You Live In” is a great children’s picture book exploring this subject. Some parents have compared the concept to ice cream to help little ones understand; ice cream comes in many different flavors — vanilla, chocolate, or butterscotch – but they’re all good in their own ways. If you’re not sure how to respond to common questions kids have, see what neuropsychologists, educators, and parenting coaches have to say.

Start with Sesame Street.

Since the beginning, Sesame Street has been intentional about including diverse voices in its cast of human and muppet characters. From children in wheelchairs, with same-sex parents, or Afghani citizenship, to muppets with autism, HIV, or parents in jail, a wide range of perspectives and topics can be presented in ways that are inclusive and easy for kids to understand. Big Bird alone can’t do all the teaching – parents still need to help children make that leap from fantasy to reality – but multicultural programming is a positive reinforcement for the honest, direct conversations that need to happen amongst family members. 

Build an #OwnVoices library.

The #OwnVoices book list is a useful shorthand for books featuring diverse characters written by people who share those identities. As a collective, these books open the door to marginalized groups and invite more voices to share their stories. Reading Partners offers a list of children’s picture books from #OwnVoices, including a book by former president Barack Obama! EmbraceRace.org offers another well-curated list of books featuring diversity.

Choose diverse toys.

Children learn through play. Providing a variety of toys for a child to play with might mean giving girls Hot Wheels cars and STEM toys, or dolls and play kitchen foods for boys. It could be stocking that play kitchen with foods from around the world. It could mean buying a pack of crayons that accounts for every different skin tone and hair color. The Every Mom published a list of 20 diverse toys that make great gifts.

Foster healthy esteem.

“Happy, well-adjusted kids tend not to be bigots,” as KidsPeace Director of Psychology Peter Langman, Ph.D. put it. “Kids who feel like they aren’t valued tend to look for targets—someone they deem ‘different’—to release their own anger and frustration.” Building esteem is especially important for kids who feel singled out for some reason. Use positive reframing – as in “your hair isn’t frizzy; it’s just happy!” or “your nose isn’t too big – you are still growing.” Teach your child it’s important to stand up against bullies – that it’s sometimes necessary to say, “I don’t like your name-calling and I want you to stop.” Praising a child for effort, giving out routine chores, encouraging new hobbies, and spending quality time together are all ways to foster a child’s budding competence, identity, and esteem.    

Celebrate multicultural holidays.

One of the easiest and most fun ways to engage with people from other cultures is to share in different holiday celebrations. During these periods, school-age children in particular will notice that children may or may not share their same holidays. Parents can use these times to teach about where a particular holiday originated, why people celebrate it, and what traditions make it special. Celebrations might include African American holidays like Kwanzaa and Juneteenth, Hindu holidays like Diwali and Sankranti, Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas, Jewish holidays like Hanukkah and Rosh Hashana, Muslims holidays like Eid and Ramadan, or Mexican holidays like Dia de los Muertos and Cinco de Mayo. Read a book, watch a movie, make a craft, cook a recipe, visit a museum, attend a local festival – there are many ways to participate.    

Get involved in the community.

Since the flawed suburbanization and urban renewal projects of the 1970s, many families inadvertently find themselves stranded in neighborhoods lacking diversity. American Poet Maya Angelou once said, “When you know better, do better.” Parents are the best role models of tolerance and acceptance – not just in speech, but in action. Seeking out friendships and social networks with families of different races should be prioritized – whether it’s through team sports, performing arts, hobbies, clubs, music classes, toddler play groups, community service projects, or church groups. If you live in the New York City region, Shine offers creative multicultural programming combining art, science, music, storytelling, and play that is welcoming to families from all walks of life. By sharing common interests, children become comfortable playing and working with people from cultural backgrounds that may be different from their own.

Best Places to Shake Off Your COVID-19 Blues on Long Island’s East End

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As we prepare to enter the fifth month of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s only natural to worry about the mental and emotional toll the isolation is taking on your child and family. You may yearn for normalcy, but worry about the risks of returning to family fun as usual. Many of the places you used to take the kids are still closed and highly anticipated summer events have been cancelled.

What’s a parent to do?

It’s important that we shine our inner lights, so our children remember this summer as a time of growth and enrichment, not stagnation. The places we love may be operating a little differently, but in some ways, timing your visit during this low-traffic time makes it better.

To help, we’ve curated a list of idyllic places to spend a safe, enjoyable summer afternoon on Long Island’s East End. Also, we offer the latest scoop on day camps that are running with expanded safety protocols, offering a fun, educational environment that isn’t so dependent on parental supervision.

LongHouse Reserve

LongHouse Reserve is a 16-acre sculpture garden dedicated to reflecting world cultures and inspiring creativity. Here you’ll find a maze-like environment of giant chess boards, lotus plant ponds, and futuristic solar panel art installations. Two hours should be a good amount of time to take in the surrounding beauty and 60+ works of art.

The garden re-opened to the public on June 17th — but due to COVID-19, visits are by timed ticket reservations ONLY. Day trips are $15 and Twilight Tours $30, but be sure to plan a week or two in advance, as tickets are selling out.  

Everyone is required to wear a mask, except children under two – who must be kept in strollers. Restrooms and water fountains are closed, benches are roped off, INstore is closed, and six-foot social distancing with other groups is advised.  

Bridge Gardens

The five acres of Bridge Gardens provides a welcome respite for birdwatching, painting, photography, and nature study in the heart of Bridgehampton. The mix of community gardens, demonstration plots, and ivy mazes makes it the perfect oasis for picnicking.

Bridge Gardens is open daily from 10-4 with free admission. Out of an abundance of caution, the Peconic Land Trust has switched their tour programming to virtual Zoom meetings instead.

Madoo Conservancy

Established by artist, writer, and gardener Robert Dash, Madoo Conservancy in Sagaponack is a registered historic site replete with fairytale cottages, Chinese ponds, unique artwork, and enchanting gardens.

Madoo Conservancy opened for the season on June 22nd. If you wish to visit the Madoo Conservancy, visits for groups of 10 or less are now by APPOINTMENT ONLY. The garden is open on Fridays and Saturdays from 12-4pm through October 10th, 2020.

All guests are required to wear face masks, which can also be found on-site if you do not have one. Guests are asked to wash their hands upon entering and using hand sanitizer upon leaving.  Strollers are not permitted and there are no public restrooms at this time.

The $10 admission fee is waived, thanks to a generous grant from the Barry Friedberg and Charlotte Moss Family Foundation.

Amber Waves Farm

Amber Waves Farm in Amagansett has received praise for their safety-first approach to produce cultivation during the COVID-19 crisis. Normally, this time of year, there are pizza-making workshops, farm tours, and story hours for kids – but specialty programming has been placed on hold in light of recent events. Even so, Full Moon Suppers are on the calendar starting in August, and you can always stop by for a box of produce and a bite to eat.

The Café opened for the 2020 season on June 13th with breakfast and lunch orders available to-go or to enjoy at their socially-distant picnic tables from 8am to 4pm. Guests are asked to wear masks any time they are on the property, except for when dining. You can also shop the market and order a produce box for next-day curbside pickup online. The staff is required to wear gloves and face coverings while working at the market.

Looking for a safe enrichment environment for your children?

Summer camp for ages 4-11 is a little different this year, with pods very limited in size to keep everybody safe. We have three full days of programming (9:00 am to 2:30 pm), with a few spots left.

Monday outdoor sessions at LongHouse Reserve will meet in two groups of 10, with no other camps on-site. Wednesday and Friday sessions at the Children’s Museum of the East End from July 20th through September 4th offers an exclusive opportunity to visit the museum while it is closed to the public.

Beyond the size limitations, Shine educators are strictly adhering to ALL State of New York and CDC protocols. Parents are to stay in the car during pickups and drop-offs. We will ask you a few questions, such as whether anyone in your household has experienced COVID-like symptoms in the past 14 days, tested positive, or come into contact with someone who has confirmed or suspected coronavirus. Campers will have their temperatures taken and wash their hands thoroughly before the day begins. Teachers and counselors will be wearing masks when interacting with children, remaining at a distance whenever possible, and sanitizing surfaces and materials frequently.  

Children will receive the same high-quality Shine programming we’ve curated for the past six years. Carolina Fuentes and Drumanawé will be stopping by with their unique combination of music and movement. Mondays feature Chris Sahr’s fine arts groups and a coach from Super Soccer Stars. Wednesday Workshops bring in local farmers and artisans. Fridays include art with Chris Sahr and fun interactive STEM activities with Snapology.

Shine will be taking summer excursions to all of the places mentioned here. Check out some of the places we’ve been with the kids so far, from strawberry fields to beaches on our Instagram. We’re also working on adding private museum access and guided walks at SoFo in the coming weeks as well. Contact us to inquire about availability and the latest partnerships.

5 Simple Things You and Your Kids Can Do To Give Back During the COVID-19 Quarantine

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“The darker the storm, the brighter the rainbow.”

By now, you’ve had a few weeks to adjust to the “new normal.” You likely have a routine, you’ve explained the situation to your children, and you’re busy keeping up with school work. Yet, you may also be feeling tinges of emptiness, anxiety, or helplessness. During a time of crisis, it can be cathartic to reach out to others. Use this time productively to demonstrate the kindness, charity, and thoughtfulness you want your kids to assimilate. Joining together in a service project bonds the family closer together and helps your children with anxiety and boredom as well. 

1. Take care of your own.

First and foremost, practice social distancing! By now, scientists have talked until they’re blue in the face about the dire need of flattening the curve by staying at home with your immediate family members. With reduced work hours and homeschooling in full effect, you’re likely to be spending a LOT more family time these days.

However, don’t forget about family members who may be missing your family or enduring the quarantine in complete isolation from others. Make it a habit – if not daily, then at least weekly – to catch up with grandparents, cousins, friends, or even your child’s classmates.

Many people are using FaceTime, Zoom, or the House Party app to visually connect with others. You can also tape video messages on your smartphone and text them directly to others. Another alternative (for longer videos) is to upload them to YouTube, list them as “unshared” to keep them unsearchable, and send the link to your desired recipient via text or email. You can also create beautiful works of art with the kids to mail to loved ones the old-fashioned way with a stamp. Share a little bit of your day with other parents who are also feeling their way through this Brave New World of homeschooling.

2. Lend a helping hand to your neighbors.

Consider what you can do for your neighbors, particularly the elderly or homebound. Use this template to print out viral kindness postcards to place in mailboxes, offering assistance – whether it’s picking up a few items from the store, completing yard work, or making a friendly wellness call.

If you’re feeling too cooped up and need to get out into the community, New York Cares is in need of volunteers to help with a number of projects. You might pack meal bags for delivery to seniors, bag produce, or serve at a local food pantry. 

Show your support for neighborhood walkers by posting one of these popular rainbow signs in your window with an encouraging message. Some kids are also using sidewalk chalk to write messages of cheer, hope, love, and togetherness. You might consider thanking “essential personnel” that may be coming to your home, such as a postal worker or delivery person.

3. Make sure there’s enough food for everyone.

A number of organizations are providing for the hungry. More than 80,000 New Yorkers filed for unemployment in March, so we can only assume the number of people who suddenly can’t afford groceries is skyrocketing similarly. You can feed five people for $1 with your donation to The Food Bank of NYC.

Make it a family affair by using this opportunity to talk to your kids about the importance of giving money to local food banks. You might read a book like Maddi’s Fridge or Last Stop on Market Street to help younger child understand that some children are less fortunate, particularly during economic downturns like the one we’re facing now. 

Charities like City Harvest openly encourage young volunteerism. Kids can get involved with the “Draw Hope To Drive Hope” campaign by: coloring or designing a donation food truck or lunch bag. Socially share using hashtag #WeAreCityHarvest to raise awareness, then mail the finished illustration to drivers on the front lines at drawhope@cityharvest.org or City Harvest Food Rescue Facility, 55-01 2nd Street, Queens NY 11101, ATTN: Francesca. Do your part by sending in a financial contribution; just $15 feeds 55 children for a day. You can double your donation amount by texting LUNCH to 20222, which will not only make a $15 donation, but will include a matched amount from Danone North America (up to $100K).

Of course, you’d hate to hear that all your favorite restaurants have gone out of business after this is all over. Order out from your favorite NYC eatery offering takeout at least once a week to support your local community. As an added bonus, you can donate to restaurants that are raising funds to feed busy healthcare workers.

4. Adopt a pet.

Now that you are spending more time at home, it could be the right time to expand your family. Adopting a pet is a loving gesture that your kids will really enjoy. New animals require lots of attention during their initial adjustment phase, with a structured routine, lots of play, and daily training sessions. Be sure you specifically check off the box to search “good with children.”

Animal Care Centers of NYC is not allowing tours of the buildings as per usual, but if you see a pet that pulls at your heart strands on their website, a care coordinator can set up a meeting. You may also consider donating animal food, cleaning supplies, bedding, leashes, collars, and bowls to a local animal shelter. They are always in need.

5. Help classmates celebrate their birthdays.

It can be difficult for children to cope with having a quarantine birthday. They miss out on all the special treats they’ve seen other kids receive on their birthdays earlier in the school year – be it a crown, a special song, or cupcakes brought in by parents. They may also be missing out on a party with friends, presents, and a place they really love.

Reach out to your child’s teacher to find out who is celebrating a birthday coming up. For classmates your child is not besties with, you can simply create a “Happy Birthday” sign to send virtually – or you might record a video to pass along. Organizing a virtual Zoom Party can be a fun way to get the whole class together, at least for a song.

For friends, cousins, and classmates your child is closer to, you might consider sending a small gift and calling them up for a video chat. Some families do car parades, sending their drive-by wishes, honking horns. You might place balloons on a porch railing, decorate the yard, or draw chalk messages in their driveways (with parental permission, of course!) 

If your child is the one having a quarantine birthday, consider different ways to make the day special. Create a balloon waterfall to rain down on your child when he or she opens the door in the morning. Pick a theme. For instance, you might pitch a tent and have a pretend campout at home or set up a projection screen movie. Set up a scavenger hunt where one present leads to another throughout the house and yard. Spend the day cooking a favorite ethnic meal or baking together, filming your child’s contribution like a cooking show. FaceTime with friends and family throughout the day. Families have been doing dress-up princess tea parties, beach parties with blow-up pools full of pillows and blankets in the living room, and ice cream sundaes.

We look forward to seeing you in our classes and workshops after the quarantine is over! 

And while still in quarantine, click here to learn more about our craft bags and online classes!

Caregiving for Our Beautiful, Unique Children on the Spectrum in the Time of Covid-19

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One in 59 Americans fall somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. April is National Autism Awareness Month with the theme of “Celebrating our Differences.” The upending of routines, support services, and positive outlets during these unprecedented times is acutely felt by your child right now. While autism affects people in different ways, there are a few common experiences: a child with autism may feel overwhelmed by changes in routine, suffer information overload, or experience increased anxiety.

Perhaps you are also feeling very much that way right now! If you’ve found your way here, we know you are patient, kind, and committed to meeting this challenge head-on. We offer the following suggestions and coping strategies as a general guideline. Perhaps not everything will be the right fit for your home, but take what you can and do reach out to your child’s school or a local autism group if your needs go beyond these recommendations. 

Set a Schedule.

Establishing a “new normal” with a predictable schedule is paramount to stable life at home. Pajama days are fun for the weekend, but you don’t want “slouching” to become the new normal. It’s okay to sleep in a bit later to ensure your child is well-rested, but set the expectation that you will all get up, get dressed, and have breakfast like usual.

It helps to do something that signifies the start of the school day. While you’d normally get in your car and drive to school, perhaps you take a brief walk around the block to get fresh morning air into your lungs and mentally prepare for the day.

A manageable at-home routine might include:

  • School work – This is best done early, while your child is fresh. If your child starts to feel restless, try an exercise break, rather than pushing too hard.
  • Exercise – Take as many short exercise breaks as you can throughout the day!
  • Lunch – Enjoy your favorite balanced meal of protein, fruit, veggie, and fun snack. 
  • Activity – While you’re resting and digesting, give your child a puzzle to do or play a board game together. If you have household chores to do, invite your child to help. Baking together is a pleasant way to spend time together. (Here are some family-friendly recipes for the upcoming Eastern Orthodox Easter, Cinco de Mayo or National Puerto Rican Day.)
  • Downtime – Offer an hour of device or TV time. Some families are taking this time to learn a new hobby like watercolor painting, digital piano playing, or knitting. Reading or listening to an audiobook could be a nice, quiet activity before dinner and bedtime routine.
  • Social time – Setting up a weekly Zoom chat with family members, cousins, or friends from school can help your child practice social skills, combat feelings of loneliness, and share what he or she has been doing over this extended break.

Every day may not be perfect, but do your best to remain consistent and you’ll see your child thrive on the new schedule in no time.

Create visual cues.

Try to stay consistent each day. Make several visual charts for your child’s reference:

  • Communication of Expectations — “First chicken nuggets, then ice cream,” or “First puzzle, then iPad,” or “First get dressed, then brush teeth.”
  • Daily Schedule — There are many different types of visual schedules — or create your own!
  • Bathroom Etiquette – Use toilet? Use paper? Flush? Wash hands?
  • Meal Time Talk – How was your day? Today I ________. Please pass the _______.
  • Meal Etiquette – Small bites. Lips together. Look up.
  • Door Reminders – “Close door when finished” can help keep your fridge cold.
  • Time – Use a colorful sand timer to provide a sense of moving along from task to task.

Visual cues give your child greater sense of certainty, control, and ownership over the day. 

Communicate open and honestly.

Older children may be full of questions and anxiety at this time. They will look to you to be the confident, protective leader that grounds them. Explain that you will have your schedule, wash your hands, practice social distancing, and stay safe. (Check out our guide on how to talk to kids about Covid here!) 

Design a space.

Now that your child will be home all day, take a room by room assessment to determine if added childproofing must be done. For instance, you may need to tuck away medications or other dangerous items, fasten furniture to the wall, block off stairs, or lock windows and doors.

Beyond basic safety, your child will appreciate having a distinctive working space – a worktable, a cozy sensory pea pod reading nook, or just someplace relaxing where distractions are minimal. Work in natural and dimmable lighting, as well as natural accents like plants or a hammock, if possible. Use a desk caddy or rolling craft organizer to arrange supplies.  

Move every day, without exception.

Getting outside is ideal. Kick a soccer ball in the backyard. Playing frisbee or hopscotch. Take a walk around the neighborhood or local park (being mindful of social distancing, of course.) If it’s cool or rainy outside, try fun GoNoodle dancing or Cosmic Kids Yoga for mindful movement. 

Address the challenges.

Telehealth support using video-based consultations can be helpful for handling challenging behaviors. It can be helpful to jot down “What happened,” “What it looked like,” and “What happened afterward” to relay to your support team, so they can help you identify patterns and progress. 

Reward good behavior.

There are many ways to work positive incentives into the day.

  • Sticker Charts – Some children respond well to sticker charts that lead to a special book, small toy, or choice activity. You can tailor these charts to your child’s particular area of difficulty. For instance, you might award a sticker for every 30 minutes spent on-task, or for getting through the transition from bath to pajamas without a fuss.
  • Choice Box – When your child seems restless or disengaged, use a fun Choice Box to ignite focus again. Rotate the items from day to day, such as fidget spinners, stress relievers, spinning tops, rainbow scratch art pads, Play Doh, sticker books, puzzles, finger paints, light-up toys, stuffed animals, music instruments, essential oil smelling bottles, pipe-cleaners, puppets, bubbles, or whatever is of interest to your particular child. 
  • Bonding – We all have our struggles. Maybe your child is struggling to finish a journal entry or trying hard to reduce Echolalia. Be sure to recognize your child’s efforts and celebrate small victories with a hug, praise, a living room dance party, ice cream social, or a popcorn-and-movie night. 

In all of this, remember to be kind to yourself and take a moment to breathe… to just BE. It’s helpful to have goals, but we don’t want our schedules to run over us like a steamroller. If one day your child wants to bake cookies, play with Play Doh, and run in the wet grass, FLEX. Tomorrow is another day. Some days will be more productive than others, whether you are a family supporting someone on the spectrum or not. In those trying moments, all you can do is your best. You may have to step out of the room to belly breathe or you may have to dial moral support from time to time. That doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. Though you are focused on caregiving for your child, remember to eat well, get your rest, stay active, limit news consumption, and set goals for yourself, too. Carve out small pockets of time to use with purpose and do an activity that centers you. When all this is over, you always have a home at Shine. Stay safe out there!   

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