Traveling for Memorial Day Weekend? Here’s What You Need To Know About Car Sickness

Life’s a journey, not a destination — even so, we want that journey to unfold as smoothly as possible, especially when we’re planning a holiday road trip. Memorial Day weekend kicks off the start of high season for population destinations like Rehoboth Beach, Cape May, Newport, and Nantucket.

Your child might have been a road warrior as an infant, but suddenly develop car sickness. According to a large 2019 study, car sickness is rare before age one, most common between four and 13, and most severe between six and nine. While motion sickness can affect anyone at any time in life, it’s less common after puberty — and can be prevented with the right strategies in place.

Why Does Car Sickness Happen?

Car sickness occurs when the inner ear and eyes receive mixed messages about motion. Normally, when a child looks out the window, all sensory signals tell the brain, “We’re moving forward!” Yet, when children are seated low in the backseat, buried on a tablet or in a book, the inner ear will say “we’re moving,” but the eyes will conflict with the message “no, we’re sitting still!” The sensory mismatch confuses the brain, triggering symptoms ranging from yawning, fatigue, dizziness, and headache, to cold sweats, mood changes, nausea, and vomiting.

How To Prevent Car Sickness

• Food: While it may be tempting to hit up the McDonald’s drive-thru, packing bland snacks like pretzels, dry cereal, bananas, cold lunch meats, peanut butter sandwiches, ginger biscuits, and apple slices are your best bet for travel. Sucking on ginger, peppermint, or Queasy Pops can help prevent nausea. Avoid sugary snacks and drinks.

• Airflow: Opening the windows or pointing cool-blowing air vents your child’s way is an ideal strategy for preventing car sickness or reducing its after-effects. Have your child take deep breaths in and slow breaths out to recalibrate.

• Focus: Encourage your child to look outside the car — through the front windshield, at the horizon, if possible. Look at a stationary object like a tree, mountain, or street sign. Be sure to remove hanging air fresheners or anything else that obstructs your child’s view. TVs mounted on the back headrests are preferable to TVs in the center of the vehicle, which blocks the view.

• Screen Time: Even when stationary, kids can develop cybersickness from screen time. The Mayo Clinic recommends getting up and walking around every 30 minutes, though this isn’t exactly feasible on a multi-hour trip. If you can’t skip screens altogether, try to have your child spend at least 20 seconds looking away from the screen — to an object at least 20 feet away — every 20 minutes.

• Activities: Reading and watching movies are two main culprits triggering car sickness. Of course, that’s precisely what your child will want to do on a long road trip! You might consider planning travel at a time when your child is more likely to sleep. Downloading audiobooks and family-friendly podcasts or the soundtrack to “Encanto” just might be fun enough to entertain the kids for a few hours on the road. You might play games like “I Spy,” Road Sign Bingo, 20 Questions, or “Would You Rather,” and keep track of the different brands and color vehicles you see. Gel window clings can be fun for kids to play with,

• Medication: Dramamine or Benadryl an hour before traveling can reduce the likelihood of travel sickness, though it may also make your child feel drowsy for up to 24 hours.

• Acupressure: More research is needed, but sea bands that apply pressure to the Pericardium 6 point can relieve nausea in some people.

• Support: Stress, worry, and memories of past car sicknesses can make matters worse. Try to keep a light-hearted approach with a “Oops, accidents happen!” Make sure your child feels loved and understands that it’s perfectly normal.

• Prepare: Proactively, you might bring a plastic pail with a garbage bag inside to catch any vomit or a hospital-grade barf bag. For younger children, a “vomit poncho” made from a towel, bib, or blanket might suffice.

• Clean Up: If your child becomes sick, clean up by removing as much vomit as possible, sprinkling the area with baking soda, and vacuuming with a Shop-Vac. Apply carpet cleaner, agitate with a brush, and dry with a towel, using an enzymatic cleaner to pick up any remaining odors.

• First Aid: If your child does become sick, it can help to stop the car, place a cool compress on your child’s head, and change position to either walk it off or lie down. Once the nausea passes, they can have small sips of cold water and a light snack.

Now you are better prepared to deal with whatever life throws you. We wish you happy travels! And if you decide to stay in the East End, stop by the Shine Studio for fun classes, workshops, and activities over the long Memorial weekend.

The Pandemic has given us a jumpstart in teaching our children about resilience, but making grit and flexibility an intentional part of our daily parenting is a gift that keeps giving over the course of a lifetime. The ability to deal with everything from minor setbacks to monumental challenges is a skill we all can improve with practice.

In Part I, we explored how to build resilience through dream boards, storytelling, play, and hobbies. In this round, we share ways to formulate confidence-building dialogue, slice problems up like a pie, allow your child to experience personal challenges, and use nature as a teaching tool for resilience.

Learn Through Dialogue and Self-talk

Children often fall into negative thought patterns, which we can help them change with the right support and repetition. For instance:

• Be realistic. Rather than saying the first day of school will be great and your child will make tons of friends, try something like: “The first day might be a bit scary, but once you settle in, you’re likely to love the routine and the friendships.”

• Listen and validate. Never brush heavy feelings off, no matter how silly or unrealistic they seem. Even though your instinct may be to immediately refute your child’s negativity, try to name what they’re feeling. Express your understanding and empathy by saying something like, “Wow, that sounds challenging. I think that would be challenging for me, too.”

• Ask questions. Probing deeper can help you find out what’s causing your child to think negatively. Often, it’s not the surface level problem, but an underlying need that has not been addressed. Asking “What happened here?” can help your child walk through the escalation, so you can dial back again. You might also ask a struggling child, “What’s the hard part?” or “How can we break this down to make it easier?” These simple prompts encourage your child to switch from emotions of frustration or discouragement to a rational, problem-solving mindset.

• Correct the record. When you run up against challenges, model positive self-talk. You might yell in frustration, “I’m a terrible cook!” and correct yourself by saying, “Actually, I’m a pretty good cook most of the time. I just messed up, but I’m not going to give up!” This shows your child even adults make mistakes and do not always think positively at first. Similarly, if you catch your child complaining, “I can’t do it!” Correct them by saying, “You can’t do it yet, you mean.”

• Broaden the perspective. Remind your child one bad apple (or experience) doesn’t ruin the bunch (or mean your child is a failure!) If your child says something like “I’m dumb!” Education Leader Bob Cunningham recommends saying something like, “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I know it’s frustrating, but that doesn’t mean you’re dumb.” If your child persists, you might say, “It makes me sad when you say that, because I know it isn’t true. You’re great at basketball, math, and dancing — so tell me why you feel this way.”

• Encourage. Help your child reframe by reminding that “Mistakes are proof we are trying,” and by noting, “It looks like you’re working very hard on that.” Let your child know you have faith they’ll get it with time, practice, and patience. Show your support by offering, “Go as far as you can and we’ll do it together when you get stuck.”

• Take a break. There’s no shame in taking a break. Teachers often use “calm down corners” to give kids a moment away from a frustrating task, allowing them to regroup and return to the activity at their own pace. You might say, “I can see you are feeling very upset. Let’s take a moment to do something else and come back to it when we feel ready to try again.”

• Slice up problems like a pie.

Teaching children to be aware of their thoughts and rely on optimism can be a helpful exercise. Fifth grade teacher Amy Lyon created curriculum for her students based on the “grit pie” activity in The Optimistic Child by Martin Seligman.

The “pie” represents an obstacle the child is facing. Each slice of the pie is a potential cause of the problem. Psychologists found that children were more likely to reach a positive outcome when they considered multiple sources of the problem. Students then discuss whether each slice is permanent or temporary in nature, and assess whether they blame themselves or others.

Ideally, most problems will be viewed as temporary, they’ll take some responsibility for the cause, and they’ll see the situation as within their control to change. This activity is designed to show your child how problem-solving and perseverance can resolve challenges in life.  

While this exercise works best with elementary-age children, you can set the stage with toddlers by helping them recognize and name their emotions. Connecting with anger, fear, or sadness is the first step for kids toward developing strategies for calming down, clearing their heads, regulating their emotions, and brainstorming responses to triggering events.

Learn Through Personal Challenges

“Let your children fail” is a popular parenting trope that feels easier said than done. Supportive, but not overbearing is the goal, but it can be easier to practice in a situation that isn’t acutely stressful. An example of this could be choosing to give up something for a month – YouTube videos, complaining, or junk food, for example. The family can chart their progress, celebrate small victories, and appreciate the struggle together.

UPenn Psychologist Angela Duckworth has implemented the “Hard Thing Rule” at her house, which asks each member of the family to do something hard – something that requires practice, feedback, and trying again and again before getting better. Everyone chooses their own challenge, but must finish what they start, whether it’s a season of a sport or a session of music lessons.

The “Hard Thing Rule” is so effective because it combines passion (in choosing what to pursue) with perseverance (a promise to stick with it). Kids can build confidence and experience the benefits of their grit and determination. 

Use Nature as a Teacher

Nature is a great teacher in resilience. Certified Parent Educator Chelsea Lee Smith tried a powerful exercise involving nature with her son that you can use too.

On a nature walk, ask your child to find a small plant or sapling. If you were to ask your child what would happen by grabbing the plant, the child would probably imagine the plant would die. “What if there was a BIG storm?” you could ask next. Surely, the plant would die then!

Next, find a tree. Of course, we cannot uproot a tree so easily. “Could the tree withstand a storm?” Certainly. If your child could choose which to be in a storm, would it be a sapling or a tree? Most kids would agree it’s better to be a “stronger” tree.

Wrap up your metaphor by explaining that people are like plants and trees, and we can actually choose how strong we grow. We will all have sun (love and household rules) and rain (challenges and things other people do we can’t control) in our lives, but we can choose to soak up the sun and let a little rain help us grow our roots deep into the soil. If we only have love without challenges, we will shrivel up in the extreme heat. If we only have rain without the sun, we will get washed away. A good balance of sun and rain provides the right support we need to learn and grow stronger. Like a tree, we can be resilient, too.

Simply getting outdoors and observing what you see, soaking up the good in each moment, is a wonderful mindfulness activity that paves the way toward resilience. In order to weather the storm, we have to find the beauty and benefit in our circumstances. We need to take a moment to find inner serenity and quiet obtrusive thoughts, to be happy for what’s right in front of us.

Let’s Grow Resilient Together!

If you’re looking for your next challenge, why not try one of the classes at the brand-new Shine Studio? We have art, music, second language, dance, and other curriculum to help children from six months to 12 years grow in resilience, while building confidence, creativity, and character.